Eight Days a Week and Farewell

I made the hard, hard decision yesterday to have my best buddy, my pal of the past fourteen years minus three weeks, put to sleep. We had been struggling with his incontinence for the past 6 weeks or so, which was initially diagnosed as a UTI. When three weeks of antibiotics resolved the infection but not the incontinence (he was also passing noticeable amounts of blood) the most probably cause was determined to be a cancer, probably prostate. He was hurting, both with that problem and with his arthritis pain, which we couldn't treat with meds because they made him ill also.

Kato had a laundry list of serious health problems - liver failure, poorly functioning kidneys, food allergies, all with the background music of advanced arthritis - and now this...he had become so skinny that it was almost shocking to see him, compared to his past states of health and vigor and playfulness. I struggled with the decision all day, but finally realized it was the best course. We were not going to be able to improve his quality of life with any treatment, and it was only going to get worse. He simply did not deserve to live in continued pain and discomfort. Since he was a cantankerous old guy, we made the decision to give him a sedative to let him sleep before the final act, and he was just snoozing peacefully when the moment came. It was definitely harder for me than for him at that point.

Today I realized that he was with me on a daily basis longer than I was married to either husband, longer than any boyfriend, longer than any roommate. Today everything feels surreal. I have spent the last year scheduling my life around him and his needs; around walks, medications, feedings to try to get some calories in him, and time to prevent him from being alone in the house too long. When I get honest, I realize too that I couldn't wait to get home to him. He was a great pal, the best dog I could have ever hoped for, and he gave an incredible amount of love to me. My life will not be the same without him, but I will strive to make it a good life, to be generous with affection, to wag more than I bark, to live with laughter and joy and be in the moment, as he would do, in his memory.

I treasure the vet that helped me make this decision to allow my best friend of almost fourteen years to be at rest and out of pain. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make.

Rest in complete peace, my best friend, my buddy, old rotten dog Kato. Eight days a week could not possibly be enough time to let you know what a treasure you have been to me. You were the best!